By Enrique Miguel M. Degamo
February 28, 2011, 4:00 pm
For the first time in my life, last night, I actually saw real meteors fly right across the sky. Scientists call them Geminids. I’m not so sure why, but perhaps it’s because they hail from the majestic constellation of Gemini, of Mighty Castor and of Brave Pollux. They were beautiful, like ladies gliding across a star-lit ballroom. What I’m pretty sure about is that I’ll never see them again for a long time.
Sometimes I wonder what it’s like for a star to be gazed upon.
Do they ask the same questions as we do? Feel like we do?
Do they get panic attacks?
Do they feel insecure?
I once wrote a poem for a star that I have been gazing upon. Like the lovely Geminids, she strides across the skies of my troubled mind with ease, with majesty and grace. But unlike them she only hails a couple of rows away from me during my previous classes. It may not be as far as the grandiosity of real ones, but she shines brighter than all of them combined. Sad thing is I've only begun to realize my passion for her all too late.
Bah! I just suck at this…
Now I’m pretty dimwitted for breaking the mood…
Let me just give you a new scenario -- I LOVE HER!!!
I do apologize for the uncompromising approach. I know that it is impeccably awkward, but I am... in love with her. It just burns me to say that I do, not because for love's sake or because it just feels good this way (and it really does). I... I just can’t simply calculate it! I just know I love her! I’ve been saying this for a couple of times already! And I never thought I'd feel this way again, so that's pretty phenomenal. I realize that I’m a bundle scattered across the floor. You know what’s funny about that? I do know every piece after all, it may not be all that but what matters is that I do know what I want, and that in itself, is magical no... miraculous. What I want is HER!
Why then is she a metaphorical star?
Because I understand this feeling as small and as insignificantly human as possible. I hope that people know how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. Perhaps it just doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many different places you go with your buddies... I still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder about what I did wrong or how I could have misunderstood. Sometimes I can even convince myself that she'll see the light and show up at my door. And after all that I dream, however long all that may be, I hope we'll go somewhere new. And meet people who make us feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of our souls will finally come back.
Somehow I’ll wait for her at my roof top... I’ll watch her dance like the Geminids
And it won’t matter if she won’t believe me...
Because I believe in her...
My beautiful star...
Editor's note: This article is contributed by an XU student for the "Ka relate ka?" segment in The Crusader website.
Source of article: Inkblot Publication, 2009
Updated 03/01/2011, 1:06 AM.
